Introducing Peanut Butter

We got PB when she was over 13 yrs old.  She came to us in late April 2011 and has only been home for about a month.  PB is very outgoing.  Even while still in China, people always commented on her being extroverted and not being afraid to talk to people.  She is also very social.  She has a long list of friends that she regularly wants to communicate with that she knew (or knows) from the orphanage.  Some of these friends are still left at the orphanage while others have forever families.  She seems to have a soft heart for those that have some special needs.  She knows Chinese sign language because one of her friends at the orphanage used it to communicate.  She seems to have no fears at least socially.  She seems comfortable in any social situation--even when she does not know anyone at the beginning.  While in China, she was not afraid to order for us when we were in a restaurant that only spoke Chinese.  In fact, on one occasion, she had ordered a fish that was taking far too long to arrive.  We were both full with the other things that she had ordered, so she called the waitress over to see how much longer it would before the fish would be done.  I gathered it was going to be a while, so she told them not to bring it to us.  We paid for the other things we had gotten and were on our way.

She constantly impresses me with her social abilities.  Now, this boldness has a negative side.  At Jelly's 4th birthday party, PB decided that she did not like one of Jelly's friends.  She repeatedly (and loudly) told me that she did not like this little girl.  In fact, this little girl's mom is one of my very good friends.  She even said it loudly in front of the little girl and her mom.  When we got home, she continued to rehash how much she did not like this little girl.  KC told her the little girl was tired which made her behave that way.  He repeated it every time she commented on how she did not like this little girl.  Another case was when we went to the doctor.  The doctor spoke Chinese, but was Japanese.  I guess she asked the doctor if she was Chinese.  When she said Japanese, PB said "I no like Japanese." She then repeated it over and over (both in and out of the doctor's presence).  Clearly this is something we need to work on!

Introducing ME!

I am mom to Jelly who's a preschooler and Peanut Butter who's a teenager.  Both Jelly & PB are adopted from China.  Jelly was 11 months old when she came home while PB was 13 yrs old.  We just met PB and are beginning our attachment "dance" with her.

I've been married to King Candy (KC) for nearly 14 years.  We met in a small community in an even smaller church.  Lets just say it was a divine meeting.  There's no other way to state it.  We moved to Texas weeks after getting married.  We spent most of the first decade of our marriage focusing on education.  In fact, I finally finished mine (well, mostly) my PhD last year.  It was not easy to complete with a toddler/preschooler, but it did thanks to the huge support from KC and a few divine appointments!  However, we did have a baby boy born with a fatal chromosomal problem who only lived 7 days before being called to heaven.

Introducing Jelly

Jelly is a sweet little girl who has huge anxiety issues.  Most likely stemming from her orphanage life, Jelly hates to sleep.  Or rather, hates to GO TO sleep.  She's had this problem as long as she has been home.  She also gets up ridiculously early--4 am--which is really still middle of the night for most people.  I do not want to hear your advice on how to get her to go to sleep on her own or get her to sleep later.  Believe me, we've tried it.  We've been to the pediatrician, a pediatric sleep specialist, play therapist and finally psychiatrist.  We've tried it all: magnesium, melatonin, crying it out, behavioral modification as well as sedatives.  None have solved our problem.  Most worked for a short period of time, but overall did not solve the problem.  I believe we are now on the right path (but just started it so we don't know yet).  We started anti-anxiety medication in addition to weekly play therapy.  It is promising, but not solved yet.

Jelly is a beautiful girl who is incredibly sweet.  Everyone who meets her loves her.  She has a connection to so many people.  She's loving, caring, compassionate (but she is only 4 yrs old) and so precious.  I love her dearly.

When Jelly came home, she was incredibly insecure and unsure.  Yes, she was only 11 months old how could she not be unsure?  She didn't start talking until she was well over age 2, but she knew her colors long before then.  But, since she didn't talk, we didn't realize it.  She did sign, so she did communicate with us.  And quite honestly, she is such a compliant child she rarely threw a fit about something.  But, she was very sensitive for a long time.  If there was laughing in the room (whether at her or not), she would completely lose it and cry.  She's finally conquered the fear of people laughing at her.  Thankfully.

She's fairly easy to please, which makes parenting her fairly easy.  We cannot forget her start in life as she has 11 months where we are "missing" from her memories.  Yes, if kids have trauma in their past, they remember it.  Whether they are conscience memories or not, they do have memories--especially traumatic ones.  I have read the research to prove it.  If you want it, I can direct you to it.

And that's essentially Jelly.