Struggles Round 1

I would be lying if I said that I was completely enamored by PB.  I realize she's only been in our family for 4 weeks, but there are times I really do not like her.  Don't get me wrong, she is amazing. And I would not blame these times I am not enamored by her on her, but take complete responsibility for the fact that I need to focus on getting to know her more and embrace OUR new family.  Overall, she is a great fit for our family.  She loves Jelly very, very much (and tells anyone who asks her--in English or Chinese).  Jelly really, really loves PB as well.  She certainly complements are family quite well.  But there are times that I think, why did we change what we had?  Life with Jelly was plenty.  PB is a  negotiator (in fact, she should consider studying law!).  And its constant negotiation.  Constant.  It could be bedtime, how long she talks to her friends, when she takes a shower, what she can eat (and how much!) or any other host of possibilities.  It becomes exhausting at times.

One area that we started working on over the past few days is food.  I don't recall it being much of an issue in China, but once we got home she began overeating.  I'm not just talking about occasionally binging on a food.  I mean eating 2 whole sandwiches (complete with 4 pieces of bread, turkey, cheese and peanut butter) in addition to rice or noodles or whatever we are having.  The girl is not THAT big.  Seriously.  There is no way that she can eat 2 grill cheese sandwiches, a ton of watermelon, some strawberries and juice for one meal.  She was doing this 2-3 meals a day.  I don't know how her stomach did not hurt all the time.  At first, we took the approach of her not feeling like we were restricting her access to food and letting her eat whatever she wanted.  But, as it became apparent after being home for a week that she was going to keep doing this, we talked to both our play therapist and a social worker from the agency.  Both suggested we control how much we make (such as 4 sandwiches for 4 people) and simply say, everyone is only having 1 sandwich.  However, if you are still hungry you can have...(for us it was: apple, carrots, or whatever fresh veggies we had on hand).  The first few times I implemented this approach, she went to KC and asked if she could have another sandwich since she did not like my answer.

Another problem we have is patience.  PB can be very demanding.  Very.very.very demanding.  When she wants something, she wants it N.O.W.  Case in point: she told me Monday night she wanted a haircut (aka take me to get a haircut right now).  I told her that we could not go Tuesday and I was not sure if we could on Wednesday (as I had 2 appointments--1 for her and 1 for JB).  I cannot even count the number of times she asked when she was getting her haircut today (Wednesday).  This week is the last week that KC is home on leave.  Consequently, we've scheduled a million appointments for this week.  So, Thursday we again have 2 appointments.  I keep telling her that maybe we can go in the morning, and she does not like the word "maybe".  She wants DEFINITE plans.  Well, my definite plans would be that she would have to wait until next week or she can have KC take her.  She's made it clear that she wants me to take her.  So, she must wait.  We had this same waiting problem when we were traveling as well.  I knew she'd be hungry on the plane, but she refused to eat before we got on the plane "because she was not hungry".  Just as I suspected, she turned to me an hour before landing saying "I'm hungry."  There was not one thing I could do...she just had to wait.  Let me again say...she HATES waiting. 

Overall, PB is doing well (especially considering we've had her less than a month and she's only been home 2 weeks).  We're adjusting to the changes.  We've had some rough patches...but we've had some fun, too.  She truly has joy and we'll be fine.  But some days...and at some points...