Life at 3 months

We mark the point within the past few days that we've been home 3 months (well, we've had PB for 3 months).  My, how things have changed!

PB is definitely outspoken.  She seems to have no fear sharing much of how she feels.  Or maybe I should say she has no fear sharing what she believes will create the biggest impact.  For example, today we had her adoption recognition cermony.  In the US, it is advisable that you re-adopt or at minimum have your international adoption recognized as not all states give the same rights and priviledges to internationally adopted children as they do to domestically adopted or biological children.  I tried to explain what it was, the importance of it, the significance of it, etc.  She seemed unimpressed at best.  We gave her a special necklace, but she simply put it away (even though we repeatedly told her it was to mark today's special day) and wore another one.  We had several friends there in attendance to celebrate the occasion, but she still seemed unimpressed.  We get home and begins the horrible attitude.  The.entire.day.she.was.in.a.mood.

When PB is in a mood, she tries everything in her "power" to push buttons.  It almost ALWAYS revolves around Jelly.  Occasionally its me, but almost always its Jelly.  Thankfully Jelly is so gosh darn sweet and caring, and yet so clueless that she doesn't seem to mind.  She always seems more concerned about making sure PB is okay than anything.  I hope Jelly doesn't remember the way PB acts at this time period, but on the other hand, I hope she does so that in the future she and PB can talk about it (when PB gets it together a bit more).  What does she "do" to Jelly?  Well, she's either trying to get her in trouble (which she's done since the beginning, and only now does on occasion), but honestly now we've moved to the point where she now says "she is NOT my sister" or "my sister no good" or "my family good..mom, dad, me. good. sister, no good." Drives me up the bloomin' wall.  But today I had a revelation.  Today was the first time she said "she is NOT my sister.  I have sisters in China, but she is NOT my sister."  I got firm and said we do not talk like that in this house, she IS your sister whether you like it or not. Then I simply walked away.  The crazy thing is that Jelly has bad days (especially when she's tired & hungry), but Jelly was NOT even being bad or crazy or rude...she was minding her own business!  It came out of nowhere.  PB later brought it again, said something about "forgiving my sister"...to which  I said, what did she do? (I made her realize she was meaning to say sorry.) but then it happened several times over the afternoon.  It was then I came to the realization that its about attention.  Its about feeling as though she's not getting attention at that moment and she wants a reaction so she says it.  You know, negative attention is better than no attention.  Not that she's not getting attention, but she wasn't AT THAT MOMENT because heaven forbid, I actually have housework, school work, cooking, laundry, and various other business to conduct.  I wasn't giving EITHER girl attention at that exact moment in time.  So as the afternoon wore on, every time she made that I comment, I simply said, I'm sorry to hear that, but she is your sister and you have no choice in that matter.

Overall, PB is adjusting well.  She did tell the translator at the medical clinic this week that she wants to get out on her own here (um, yeah this is NOT the orphanage grounds which are fenced in, but I understand you didn't realize the orphanage did not feel like it was fenced in and that you have no fear!).  And she has no friends here while she had tons of friends in China (um, you lived there for 13 YEARS and here for 3 MONTHS, lets put some perspective into this here!).  She is learning the language well, obviously we have a long way to go, but overall she is making great progress.  She has an interest in learning now that we've had a conversation about how hard school is going to be and how she is so far behind.  We have started giving her an allowance, which has been interesting because she spends it the MINUTE she gets/finds a penny and she spends every penny.  If we go somewhere and she finds something she wants to buy, wait, let me rephrase that, she tends to find things EVERYWHERE we go that she wants to buy with the same small amount of money she has!  I think the $5 she had she had spent on 10 different things.  I think we will be having a conversation about requiring to save a portion of her money the mext time she gets moneybecause she needs to learn this valuable lesson.